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Meet Investigators from Our Network. Ah, a question for the ages. The easy answer is the old spreading of the seed metaphor. Men have sexual needs that can simply become stale as the inevitable routine of marriage seeps in. Men are undoubtedly visual creatures and dating sites for married adults present an intoxicating escape for even the most morally sound individual. So what causes females to cheat? Perhaps cheating wives have many of the same needs and desires as their male counterparts. Hint, they most definitely do.
Common causes can vary widely Unconsumated marriages, better known as mariage blanc are a phenomenon that may be intolerable, and cause for cheating.
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It turns out the second most common reason men cheat is because their wives are not there for them emotionally and the connection they find with another woman serves as a reminder of what connecting with somebody feels like again. Women can take their husbands for granted just as much as the opposite holds true, double standards be damned. Which leads to the next point…. For men who simply have no community of male confidants, that independent voice might manifest that support system in the form of a new partner.
Married men who cheat are starting at a connection deficit.
The same holds true for women. The tribal mentality hits just as strongly in women, as they are the more social of the sexes. As the years of monogamy pile on, that old existential voice might pop up again. If one partner happens to feel bored, insecure or trapped with their marriage partner, then the door to infidelity and the pursuit of discreet encounters may open up.
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In some cases where communication is better and the couple might live a more alternative lifestyle, polyamory dating might become an option. Another reason is the inability to fully commit to a partner because of unresolved childhood or relationship trauma. While some men and women who exhibit unfaithful tendencies are severely shunned from their past relationships, there is a greater psychological root to their instability and a marriage might not be the best thing without such individuals seeking the proper help.
Meanwhile, the years ending in 9 are also a beacon for a mid-life crisis and a potential affair alert. Another relic of the past, the early marriage paradigm is scoffed at nowadays. It was common place in the majority of societies to be married with kids by the time age 25 rolled around. Needless to say, this left little room for a person to explore and grow into their own as an adult with sexual desires.
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For women, add all the gender role definitions that would trigger any good feminist and you have a recipe for a woman who is finding middle age as a gateway for revisiting lost opportunity. For men, the incentive might be a defiance of aging and reliving past glory. Potentially an unpopular one on the politically correct spectrum, arranged marriages were the epitome of socioeconomic security in many eastern cultures.
With online dating websites set up as safe spaces for secrecy, women who are at risk finally have an outlet to escape repressed feelings of exploration.
It could be as normal as an extramarital affair or as adventurous as women seeking women. Another unpopular one. Women who are looking for a promotion or a jump in social status might find it particularly leisurely to entice her boss into an affair.
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In , Lindsay Labrecque and Mark A. That could mean that the people who were eligible to participate in the survey in but not , including Millennials, are more open to cheating philosophically, but still less likely to do it. To get a sense of how married Millennials think about commitment, I reached out to married Millennials and Gen Xers through Twitter to ask those who are convinced they would never cheat on their spouse: Why?
Dozens replied via email and direct message. Twitter, obviously, is not a representative sample of the U. However, even among this relatively left-leaning group, many people said they knew of very few cheaters in their social circle, and those who did cheat were looked down upon by their friends. Because people today wait longer than previous generations to get married, many simply might be selecting the actual right person for them.
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He pointed out that the divorce rate has gone down significantly for college-educated couples, but not for couples in which neither person has a college education. I heard from a lot of people who prudently dated their partners for several years before getting married, then waited still more years before having children, just in case. Of course, we are also living in the midst of a sexual-harassment crisis.
But a number of MeToo offenses seem to be perpetrated by older men, some of whom blame changing mores for their alleged transgressions.
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