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Part 1: Introduction:
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But obviously I can't take any conclusions yet, because I still need to understand their perspective, and I am having some struggles to do that. That's the main reason I joined this discussion. Teens feel free to answer too. Best regards, Sarah. It honestly depends how they check your phone.
My mom just goes through my contacts and apps. I think that if your under 13 your parents should have the rigth to see what you're up too. Yes I'm 11 but this is just my opinion. I completely understand why they would do so, but i also want people to know, because of that, i cant trust my father.
The person i was found vaping with was having a very difficult time, and i got to save them. Knowing that my parents saw me talk to that friend abt her issues made me sick in the stomach, so please think before u do something, not only about ur child but the other persons messages too. Parents talk about how they want their children to trust and talk to them, but if parents judge immediately and dont understand that they are teenagers, and want to try new things, is there even a point to that?
I mean they learnt about things i wasnt prepared for them to know, for example, that im a lesbian.
How to Read Someone’s Text Messages Without Their Phone
So in my view, it is not something u should do. I understand the concern about ur children's safety but i also think its because ur scared to loose the innocense of ur child. Adults have said, that everything is shared on social media and bla bla. But what they dont understand is our generation is different from theirs.
Us teenagers tend to open up with others and talk more about our feelings on text because it is easier. And yes i know we also need to know how to do that in real life. But for some topics, it can be very hard to do so. So dont be surprised if ur child is talking about serious topics with other kids. I really do think from when you're kid turns 13, you are no longer allowed to touch their phones except in exceptional occasions.
Very proud of the adults aware of their child's privacy.
Probably not. Maybe talk to your child and they might let you see the messages, if they decline, just leave them alone. It's their phones, if you need to always check your childs phone, maybe they shouldn't have one. When you get your child a phone, make sure to protect their privacy. As a 15 year old i personally think it is definitely not okay to read you child's messages if they are 13 and older. Reason 1 being that you are not just invading their privacy but whoever else's privacy of those texting your child.
My parents always take my cellphone but haven't gone through my messages for a while now.
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I have a lot of friends who are not in the best mental state and have no other way but to communicate over the phone. So imagine your parents read text messages of people who confide in you with things they do not openly speak about just to have your parents read through those texts and know everything and will look at them in a different perspective.
Reason 2 being its basically the one way you could permanently lose your childs trust and they probably wont tell you anything about their lives anymore. I know a lot of people who cannot tell their parents anything because they either approach every situation religiously which is not always a bad thing but also not always realistic or their parents believe nothing they say and blame it on their cellphones or things that they themselves have been exposed to I just want parents to think about what would happen if they read through their child's phone and they should not always react and make decisions impulsively and based off of one suspect thing that has never happened before.
It might be good to make sure if there is a recurring pattern. As I read through all the teenagers' answers, I can clearly see how they all feel violated. If I was a teen I think I would feel the same way. But I'm not, I'm a parent. I do not think a cell phone given to a child is meant to be a safety deposit box for their private affairs. I grew up through young adulthood in the age of MySpace and early rendetions of Facebook.
As all of us adults have finally come to learn, social media is by no means private. I look at cell phones the same way these days. For myself as well as my 12 year old daughter. That device is not a crypt. It is not a curtain. And my wife and I remind her every chance we get that anything living on that phone has the possibility of falling into someone else's hands. All the teens are right that privacy is very important, but what they don't realize is their phones just aren't private; just like social media isn't. I know they should be, and to kids and teens they feel very private, but phones are a communication device, a machine with flaws and vulnerabilities.
A smart kid dealing with technology is usually nothing compared to a smart parent whose dealt with technology for the past 20 years. I tell my daughter that my wife and I will and do monitor whatever activities we can, be it her cell phone, her online activity, and any media she's consuming. Then when we need to talk to her we do it respectfully, not with anger or to provoke embarrassment. I'm aware if things she does and says that I know she wouldn't want me to know, but I let them go unless they raise red flags. I try to afford her room to grow and become independent while also monitoring her digital life.
No one, adults or children, should use cell phones to keep secrets or as a means to communicate in explicit ways that they would not be doing face to face with someone. Maturity is the word. Mature communication can be taught at a young age if kids understand the difference between text communication and real communication, they are not the same. I tell my daughter, if you feel uncomfortable talking about it, then you might want to think twice about texting it. That's maturity. All parents had to communicate without the curtain if a cell phone.
My last points are these: cell phones are a privlage, not a right. If a parent wants to monitor a kids phone then so be it. If they are open about the occuronce then they are being fair and honest.
How to Read Someone’s Text Messages Without Having Their Phone?
If a teen wants privacy they shouldn't rely on a cell phone for safe keeping of secret information or communication, they should share it in person or over the phone. This is a fact of life for anyone, not just kids. And last, I read a few times from teens' responses that wondered how I would feel about my kid going through my phone, and my answer is go for it!
I don't have a lock on my phone, anyone in my house is allowed to use it. I treat my phone as the imperfect device that it is, not as a safe place to vault all my life's secrets. She is very well behaved and frankly a quiet person. I have a divorced family, my father checks my phone basically every 2 weeks while my mother rarely ever goes through my phone. It just makes me feel so worthless and I wish he would understand that my friends love me and care for me.
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